There is all this talk about building a wall on the US/Mexico border, at least among one presidential candidate and many of his followers. Let’s inspect this idea for a minute.
Are we that lacking in scientific and technological know-how that we are looking for solutions that were deemed “state of the art” 220 years before Christ? Come on folks. If we want to keep “them” out, we can do better than a “Wall.” An electronic fence of high voltage wire would be cheaper and a more effective deterrent. We could put sophisticated mines along the border with signs “cross at your own risk” (knowing full well that the mine density and explosive capacity would leave “them” little hope of survival). We could advance science along the border and build an artificial moat filled with the most dangerous (and hungry) creatures who could be studied for their breeding and eating habits. And alas, we could make the entire stretch of the 1,933 mile border a continuous NASCAR event (eat your heart out Indianapolis 500) and crossers could test their quickness relative to 200+ mph souped up Chevys. This final idea would have the added bonus of improving our Olympic sprinting team in years to come.
But alas, even if we made our border with Mexico impermeable, wouldn’t we still have to contend with the ~6,000 miles of US coastline (neglecting Alaska & Hawaii—-oops, did I just leak a confidential secret on how to get here by less obvious means?)? Ah, but again, it would be cheaper to line all our coasts with high voltage (semi-exposed) wire than a “Wall.” This would work well now that our beaches are too polluted to swim in or too hot to enjoy (climate change is doing a doozy on sand).
Ah, but what about by air or tunnel? Couldn’t “they” come by hot air balloon, propeller planes, propulsion jet packs, or burrowing devices? Damn, this is going to be harder than I first thought. Maybe we can all just move to caves ourselves. They’ll never find us then. But, who wants to live in a cave. So, what if we nuked our entire border, land, air and water. I hear this candidate is pro-nuke so this might just be in the cards! This should keep “them” away for a very long time.
See, it just takes a little bit of ingenuity and thought and the solution to all our problems is merely at the tip of a “button.” If you still think a “Wall” will be enough to keep “them” out, think again. Get your head out of the sand. Realize you live in the 21st Century and there are a lot more scary and “sophisticated” ways to keep us safe. I mean, we certainly don’t want to blow all of our public resources on a simple-minded wall when we can spend less (we have more nukes than anyone else, don’t we?) and make it much more impressive and permanent. Just imagine what our descendants (full-fledged Americans) of the 22nd Century will think of us when they realize how visionary we were. Have more of an imagination America!
Author’s note: If you don’t see the ridiculous nature of the above, please stay away from the polls on Nov. 8th.